First golden rule of feedback


First Golden Rule of Feedback

Take a look around, listen to people in your private life at work…


Everyone is complaining all the time!


Some in social life, some in the business life; He says that somebody doesn’t understand him, he’s always criticizing him, or he’s criticising someone.

Looking at the angle of criticism; Generally criticizing egos, hurting the pride, and the person who is critical about it is immediately defensive and then attacked.

In terms of criticism, the person is actually giving feedback in extremely good faith and constructive way. But he argues that he does not understand it and that he is in conflict.


Many different explanations can be made about such situations.

Our way of giving feedback, our attitude…

The feedback culture has not been settled…

Our feedback is clear, clear…

And many more reasons.

Especially the feedback made in business life is much more critical.


Because of the stress of both institutional and personal competition pressure can cause feedback to characterize the threat as an attack.

So you should be more careful if you want to achieve your “good intentions” when giving feedback, whether it’s your colleague or your employee.

Frequent, accurate, open, timely feedback (FAST feedback-Frequent, Accurate, Specific, Timely feedback) author of the book Bruce Tulgan, the problem of feedback is as follows: “Managers ‘ feedback regarding the feedback There is a disconnection between the impressions and the impression that employees receive feedback. That’s why the executives need to do a reality check. ” 


And how?



Tulgan’s proposal in this topic: “Imagine that the people you give feedback to our customers who will buy your feedback. See why at that moment you decided to give feedback about the incident. “


It is critical to have both feedback and a better quality of life and business environment.


Why are we wary of feedback?


Especially in our country, behind the “distance stance” against feedback, the idea that this mechanism is being used as a weapon in more interpersonal “ego war” I guess we’re not mistaken…


Every notification you make in an environment where such a culture occurs is first perceived as a “threat”…


Then what kind of attitude should we be in?


“We think,” while we can be better, we’re going to be quiet in the eye?

For example, maybe you work in a hospital and your feedback will provide critical benefits for the health of many patients…




You are an employee and there are situations that threaten your safety or peace but can heal.



So, what’s stopping you?


When you criticize, your good-faith feedback is perceived as a “threat to egos” in the background, and the “defence mechanisms” are constantly appearing as a wall.

When that happens, you stop giving feedback after a while. You are getting the desperation learned…


Then something goes wrong, and as a result of your silence, it goes on, and the worst part is you know it!

How are we going to do that?


Wander behind the Egos?


Because first, we have to overcome the egos!

If there is a “systematic feedback mechanism” in the institution you are working with, you are lucky. Because the presence of such systems is not attached to “egos”, opinions, criticism, suggestions, etc. Systematically receives, analyzes, evaluates and notifies you of the results.

Organizations, managers, employees, people who have adopted this style will immediately notice…


Problems arise when there are no such “feedback systems” or when we have to do corporate feedback on a personal plane or if we already have to provide feedback specific to a person.


Now you are starting to deal with people who are not the system…

In such cases, you need to prove yourself to your criticism that your suggestion is not an “ego weapon” in order to reach the address of your feedback. (Of course, we’re assuming there are really good intentions here. If your criticism originates from your ego, the war is inevitable, J)

If your good-faith criticism; Your manager, employee, spouse, lover, friend; If you prove that you, your institution, your relationships, are sincere feedback that you offer to make the job better, more beautiful, right, but you can start to rest after that point.


After you have succeeded in giving/receiving feedback (!), you can easily reach what needs to be done to make progress from many different sources. I’m not going to extend the article for him.


Before we; Both the system, the institution, the manager and the employee, our colleague, our partner, our friend’s ego, without touching the feedback of how we can make a practice, let’s believe in the post will be easier…

Waiting for feedback on the article…

İbrahim H. Kayral.


Source: “Perception, perspective and feedback…”  Career Magazine September 2008 (